Chain Chain Chain … Chain of Fools …

I love chain stores and restaurants. I love that I can walk into any Target or Wal-Mart in the country and find exactly what I want. I love that those sinfully delicious, artery-clogging, buttery Popeye's biscuits taste exactly the same regardless of the state I am in when I buy them.

I don't understand people who fight to keep the "big box" guys out of their cities. Do they enjoy paying more for their CDs and cat litter? Or do they not understand that if Wal-Mart paid its employees twice as much it would also have to charge twice as much for everything it sells?

I followed the news stories a while back regarding Wal-Mart's unsuccessful attempt to open a store in Inglewood, CA. In an area where residents complain about both high unemployment and the high prices they pay for goods at their local stores, they voted to keep Wal-Mart from opening a store that would have employed hundreds and sold them food and household products for much less than they currently pay. Go figure.

So I was thrilled to read the other day that the tactics of the Wal-Mart haters in Rosemead, CA backfired on them! They put forth a referendum that they thought would prevent Wal-Mart from opening a Supercenter by overturning an existing development agreement between Wal-Mart and the city. They couldn't figure out why the Wal-Mart folks were in favor of the referendum, which was ultimately approved. As it turns out, Wal-Mart is going to be able to put up their store much sooner now that it is not bound by the original agreement.

And the moral of this story is: Be careful what you ask for, because you just might get it!

iTunes is currently playing: The Winner Takes It All from the album Mamma Mia! [Bonus Tracks] by Siobhan McCarthy.

Divine Secrets of the Ya Ya Sisterhood

I was thinking about Thanksgiving today. I know where most members of my immediate family spent the day but I have no idea what my sister Janice did or what she usually does that day.

Does she typically go someplace for Thanksgiving dinner -- to the home of some relative or in-law, perhaps? Or does she make Thanksgiving dinner herself?

And it occurs to me that I have no idea if she knows how to cook a turkey. In fact, I don't know if she knows how to cook at all.

How is it possible that I don't know this about my sister?

iTunes is currently playing: This One's for the Girls from the album Martina by Martina McBride.

If you’re thinking of buying the new George Carlin book …

... you might want to reconsider.

George Carlin ended his relationship with the MGM Grand in Las Vegas with a devastating diss the other night. The caustic comic finished his four-year run with a dark set that included riffs on suicides and beheadings, and made it clear that he couldn't wait to get out of "this [bleeping] hotel" and Sin City.

The Las Vegas Review-Journal's Norm Clarke reports that Carlin told the crowd of 700 that he was looking forward to going back east "where the real people are." He added, "People who go to Las Vegas, you've got to question their [bleeping] intellect . . . Traveling hundreds and thousands of miles to essentially give your money to a large corporation is kind of [bleeping] moronic. That's what I'm always getting here is these kind of [bleeping] people with very limited intellects." When a woman yelled something that sounded like "stop degrading us," Carlin fired back, "Thank you very much, whatever that was. I hope it was positive; if not, well, [bleep] me," using slang for oral sex.

Strangely, though, Carlin isn't ready to leave town yet: He's jumping to the Stardust in February after a falling out with the MGM Grand.

iTunes is currently playing: Mean Old Man from the album October Road by James Taylor.

Maybe the school should ask each applicant for a photo

From the ABCNews.com and the Associated Press:

HARRISBURG, Pa. Dec 7, 2004 — The Pennsylvania attorney general's office Monday sued an online university for allegedly selling bogus academic degrees including an MBA awarded to a cat.

Investigators paid $299 for a bachelor's degree for Colby Nolan a deputy attorney general's 6-year-old black cat claiming he had experience including baby-sitting and retail management.

The school, which offers no classes, allegedly determined Colby Nolan's resume entitled him to a master of business administration degree; a transcript listed the cat's course work and 3.5 grade-point average.

iTunes is currently playing: Your Cheatin' Heart from the album 24 Greatest Hits by Hank Williams.

Parenting 101

Philadelphia Magazine includes a monthly column called "Loco Parentis" in which writer Sandy Hingston describes the trials and tribs of raising kids these days. In the current (Dec. 2004) issue Ms. Hingston complains that her daughter, who apparently agrees with most of her mother's opinions, just doesn't GET that abortion is OK. Her arguments fall on deaf ears, she says. The daughter continues to insist that a fetus is a baby and it's not okay to kill a baby.

"I've pointed out how the rich white men who run this country wish to hell we were still stuck back in 1950, and don't want women to be educated or intelligent or empowered in any way."

As is always the case when I read statements like this, I am stunned that an educated person would spout such nonsense. Does she really believe this? Or is she just repeating the feminist movement's 40 year old talking points in order to get her kid to see the light?

Regardless, the arguments fail. As a last resort, Mom decides to level with the kid about the abortion she had when she was in college. In other words, she tells her daughter, who believes that abortion is the killing of a baby, that she aborted the girl's half-sibling.

I've never had an abortion -- or even a miscarriage -- but I understand it is common in either situation to be haunted (or at least occasionally bothered) by thoughts of what might have been. So wouldn't you expect a teenager to experience similar feelings upon learning that her mother had terminated a pregnancy?

Wouldn't she likely wonder what kind of person that sibling would have turned out to be and feel a sense of loss because she will never know him or her? Perhaps she would also feel guilty, knowing that she would not be alive today if her mother had taken a different path (and given birth to that other child) years earlier.

Was it that important, Ms. Hingston, that your NON-pregnant teenage daughter agree with your position on abortion? Did she really need to hear that story at her age?

iTunes is currently playing: Real Emotional Girl from the album Guilty: 30 Years Of Randy Newman by Randy Newman.

QUESTION: What’s cuter than a Mini Cooper?

ANSWER: The ZAP! Smart Car, coming soon to a showroom near you. You can read about it here.

I hope to be driving one in a few months. I'm leaning toward a convertible in one of these two color combinations:





Want to help me decide? Cast your vote below.

iTunes is currently playing: Driving from the album The Language Of Life by Everything But The Girl.

Rating Books and Music

Typepad gives me the option of assigning ratings of 1 to 5 stars to books and music that I write about. I don't bother. If I like a book or album enough to recommend it, I consider it a 4 or 5. Otherwise, why would I waste my time and yours. Life is too damn short to listen to mediocre music or read so-so prose (or eat overcooked burgers, but I'll save that discussion for another day).

iTunes is currently playing: Wonderful! Wonderful! from the album 16 Most Requested Songs by Johnny Mathis.

Burgers and Bytes

I just got back from Las Vegas, where I spent a few days exploring some of the newly-built master-planned communities that are springing up in all directions out there.

One of the best things about visiting the western portion of the country is that I get to visit my favorite restaurants and stores -- places I grew to love when I lived in L.A. and made frequent visits to Vegas. Sadly, many of them are not found on the East Coast :(

Here are two of my favorites, which I was (happily) able to visit while I was there:



(I hit two different In-N-Outs in three days!)



This new Fry's Electronics seems bigger and brighter than the L.A. stores -- at least bigger and brighter than they were several years ago. I bought a game while I was there -- an animated Hearts game on a PC/Mac hybrid CD. It's really cute!! But I haven't played Hearts for so long that I can't remember how to play. Yes, boys and girls, that is what happens when you hit the big FIVE O!! Your brain turns to mush.

iTunes is currently playing: Promise Land from the album Hearts And Flowers by Joan Armatrading.

As if I needed more reasons …

... not to vote for the "hair guys" (that would be Kerry and Edwards, of course)... Drudge came up with the final straw, so to speak.

Click here and get ready to retch.

oy vey ...

iTunes is currently playing: BEHIND THE MASK from the album FAKER HOLIC / Disc2 by Yellow Magic Orchestra.

Gang Colors

Dan has got me reading Ann Althouse's blog every day. In a recent post she said, "Slate's "Election Scorecard" map shows Wisconsin in solid red now." which reminded me how I can never remember which party is red and which is blue (or which is the donkey and which is the elephant).

I have trouble remembering how to pronounce certain words, too. I lived in L.A. for about 15 years before I could say "La Cienega" without sounding it out in my head first. That probably explains why it doesn't bother me when President Bush mispronounces "nuclear". His people can correct him until they are blue in the face but it just doesn't take with people like us.

I think these little ... quirks ... make us more interesting... don't you?

iTunes is currently playing: One Of The Things I Do So Well from the album Life Is Good by Livingston Taylor.

Wired Magazine piece: “Rebooting Iraq”

The October issue of Wired has an interview with Rashad Mandan Omar, Iraq's Minister of Science and Technology in which he says:

Before the collapse of the regime, average monthly salaries were $10 to $15. Now, in less than a year, the average salary is 10 times that, and inflation is down. Previously, no Iraqi was allowed to have a cell phone or an Internet connection. But now there are no restrictions, and our markets are full of computers and electrical appliances.

Assuming he is not making this stuff up and that many Iraqis are considerably better off financially since we showed up on the scene, why do we not hear this sort of thing from the media? To read the news, you would think that no good has come from our presence, wouldn't you.

iTunes is currently playing: Life During Wartime from the album Fear Of Music by Talking Heads.

Who says English degrees are useless?

Yesterday I read about this cool website called "Opening Hooks: A Collection of Literary Beginnings". As of this moment it lists over 700 opening sentences/paragraphs from books. (Most, but not all, are fiction.) You can rate them and add openings of your own. Instead of working on Spearit Software business, I spent hours perusing this web site. I love dynamite opening passages and I was in pig heaven.

The most interesting thing about this experience, however, was that I came across a book written by someone I know that I didn't know had written a book. I had heard of the book ("The Contortionist's Handbook") but had no idea who wrote it. Turns out the author is Craig Clevenger, a guy I went to school with at Cal State Long Beach. I don't know if he would remember me (I never expect anyone to remember me and am always surprised when someone does) but I remember him. I didn't know him very well, but he was a good writer and a nice guy and I am really happy for him.

(His book, by the way, has a great opening sentence: “I can count my overdoses on one hand.") You can read a tantalizing excerpt from the book here.

iTunes is currently playing: I Can Do That from the album A Chorus Line by Wayne Cilento. ("I got to class and had it made and so I stayed the rest of my life ... ")

Early Morning Fright

A few minutes ago I looked up from my computer to see a police officer coming up the walk toward our front door. I ran downstairs to find out who was injured or dead (the main reason cops make house calls) but he was there to find out if we had vaccinated and registered our dog.

We don't have a dog.

My heart is still pounding.

iTunes is currently playing: While My Heart Is Still Beating from the album Heart Still Beating by Roxy Music.

Billie Holiday Fans: Deal of the Century!

This ten CD boxed set "Billie Holiday: Portrait" (German Import) includes 170 or so recordings from the 30s and 40s plus a 40 page bio booklet for the amazing price of $26.69 plus $2.49 media rate shipping. I ordered my set from HTF Imports through Amazon Marketplace and it arrived nine days later.



What a voice. Highly recommended!

iTunes is currently playing: Solitude from the CD set Billie Holiday: Portrait .

Antenna Car ??

I came across this car as I walked through the parking lot at the Corning Glass Museum. I can't imagine why the owner attached this complicated antenna to his roof. Ideas, anyone?



iTunes is currently playing: Driving from the album The Language Of Life by Everything But The Girl.

My Aiptek 4100M Digital Video Camcorder

My last post includes a picture of my new digital video camcamcorder, posed next to my iPod so you can see how tiny it is. Here is another shot of the 4100 in action.



You can get it for under $100 at Sam's Club. Very small, very light, can also be used as a still digital camera, a web cam, and a voice recorder. The videos are not professional quality, but they are not bad at all.

Don't have money for an expensive digital camcorder? Or do you have one that you don't carry around because it is too heavy/bulky or you are afraid you will lose/break it? Want to give your kid a real video camera that is priced like a toy? Check out the Aiptek 4100M. I love mine!!

The “carry everywhere” camcorder

It's about 2/3 the size of my iPod (and 1/3 the price). For details, see my next post.



(Yes, I admit it. I am a major gadget freak!)

Long time, no talk to!

I can't believe it has been over two months since I posted here. For me, writing is like exercising. I either do it every day or I end up going months (or longer!) without doing anything at all. I'm pathetic, I know.

So today is Labor Day. To me, that means the Jerry Lewis telethon. I never cared much for his movies (slapstick is just not my thing) but the man is a saint as far as I am concerned because of the work he does to fight muscular dystrophy.

This year the show was dedicated to Mattie Stepanek who lost his battle with that wretched disease in June. Unfortunately, this was the first year that the telethon failed to raise a dollar more than the year before. It didn't help that large portions of Florida are under water or without electricity this weekend due to Hurricane Frances. But whatever the reason, I am feeling very sad tonight that we didn't come through for Jerry.

If you want to do something that will make you feel good about yourself, why not surf over to the MDA web site and donate a few bucks in Mattie's memory.

iTunes is currently playing: The Meaning of the Blues from the album Miles Ahead by Miles Davis.

People with too much time on their hands

A guy named Earl Vickers has created a web site called the Museum of Conceptual Art. Among the "art projects" Mr. Vickers claims to have created is the first Pig Latin translation of the Bible. Available for your enlightenment are the Book of Genesis, the Book of Job, and the Gospel according to John.

I hope that the author found a Pig Latin translation program someplace and didn't really "translate" this stuff himself. (The end result would still be "art", wouldn't it?)

iTunes is currently playing: In The Time It Takes from the album You Hold The Key by Beth Nielsen Chapman.

I am SOOOO in love with my Mac!!

I've discovered the most amazing OS X app -- Konfabulator! It's a javascript "engine" that runs cute little applets called Widgets that do anything and everything. I'm testing a blog posting widget right now. If this post appears, it works!

“Remember to play after every storm.”

The L.A.Times published a lovely obituary today that included some of Mattie Stepanek's poetry along with snippets from interviews he has given in the last few years.

"We all have life storms," he told Chris Cuomo on "Prime Time Thursday" in December 2001, "and when we get through them or recover from them, we should celebrate that we got through it. That's what my life's philosophy means: to remember to play after every storm."

iTunes is currently playing: The Sheltering Sky from the album 1996 by Ryuichi Sakamoto.

Cool Canadian Coin

Isn't this the cutest thing?? According to blogger site radio daisy pad, this new Canadian quarter was designed by an 11 year old. We should all be so creative, eh?

iTunes is currently playing: I Can Do That from the album A Chorus Line (1975 Original Broadway Cast) sung by Wayne Cilento.

R.I.P. Mattie Stepanek, Age 13, Poet and Activist

Writer and Advocate Mattie Stepanek Dies at 13

In his 13 years, Mattie Stepanek became nationally known as a “peacemaker and poet” whose story of living with a rare neuromuscular disorder led to five published books, numerous television appearances and a friendship with former President Jimmy Carter.

Read the story on ABCNews.com.

iTunes is currently playing: Goodbye from the album Lost In Translation by Kevin Shields.

Tom Hanks in “The Terminal”

Hanks is great fun as a man "without a country" stuck in a NYC airport. His three airport employee sidekicks are good, too. (The character played by Catherine Zeta Jones is majorly annoying!) It's pretty amazing that they built that entire airport on a soundstage in lovely (HA!) Palmdale. I'd probably rate it 2.5 or 2.75 out of 4, mostly because it was a bit too long. This will be a good rental in a few months.

iTunes is currently playing: All Around the World from the album Affection by Lisa Stansfield.

Cool Photos @ Swedish (?) Blog

I stumbled upon this cool blogger site today: Snap Happy. Most of the text is in Swedish (I think) but (interestingly) its single photo album (called "Snap Happy Impressions") is annotated in English. Go figure. Anyway, the single photo album on the site has some great shots. Enjoy!

iTunes is currently playing: I Drove All Night from the album The Essential Cyndi Lauper by Cyndi Lauper.

R.I.P. Paul Johnson, Jr.

What broke in a man when he could bring himself to kill another?

- Alan Paton, "Cry, The Beloved Country", 1948

iTunes is currently playing: Belfast to Boston (live version) by James Taylor.

Time Magazine Explains the Blog Phenom

This Time magazine article presents the history of blogging and points you to some influential/interesting/successful blogs.

iTunes is currently playing: Desert Rose from the album Brand New Day by Sting.

Congrats to Larry Brown and Co.

Tuesday night we watched the Detroit Pistons win the NBA Finals, beating the Lakers in five games. We hate the Lakers and we SO wanted them to lose! In an ideal world, Larry Brown would have coached our Sixers to victory. Still, it was nice to see him finally taking some team all the way, even if it wasn't ours, and to see the Laker dynasty stopped dead in its tracks!

So four hours after the champagne bottles were uncorked in Detroit, the following was posted on MSNBC.com: "Pistons looking like Motown's one-hit wonder... Enjoy this title, Piston fans, because it won't happen next year".

Sounds like a comment scribbled by a disgruntled Laker fan, doesn't it. But it's not. It was written by NBCSports.com contributor Bob Duff, who apparently writes for a newspaper in Ontario. (That would be Ontario, CANADA, not Ontario, CALIFORNIA.)

Why does Mr. Duff believe the Pistons have peaked? He gives two reasons.

1) Larry Brown focuses on DEFENSE and, according to this bozo, a team that wins a title by defending can't do it more than once. (I don't know about that. I think any team that can defend Kobe and KING KONG well enough to win 5 games out of 6 might be on to something...)

2) Rasheed Wallace might not be on the roster next year. (I guess Bob didn't notice that Rasheed sat out big chunks of games 3 and 4 due to foul trouble and the Pistons still managed to win those games!)

Personally, I think people who live in that frozen tundra to the north of us should stick to writing about hockey and socialized medicine and leave the NBA to us. If they have to put their two cents in, maybe they could at least wait a day or two to start raining on the victory parade.

iTunes is currently playing:
No System For Love from the album Beth Nielsen Chapman by Beth Nielsen Chapman.

Target the Wonder Cat (x9!)

This picture of Target, my half-bengal, being held by his daddy was taken with a Pop 9 camera. The Pop 9 (a cool camera with nine lenses) is available through the Lomographic Society International at www.lomography.com.

SHE CALLS ME RAIN

i play tennis dressed in black
and knit sweaters of steel wool.
a twisted rag lying in the
street is a maimed dog.
its cries follow me home
drowning out teakettles and
saxophones.

she hoped for babies and tulips.
i am stray cats and
tumbleweed.

12/8/87

THE VALUE OF A COLLEGE EDUCATION

two nights a week
the Marxist teacher
serves dinner to the homeless
who sleep on his beach,
grateful for his daughter,
his home near the ocean,
and the job he loves.
Mondays and Wednesdays
he drives to the University,
lectures on Melville and
dabbles in campus politics.
the student in the
front row envies his life.
his centeredness.

afternoons she sits on
a concrete bench.
he eats a sandwich
and asks about her classes.
the student leans forward,
brushes away a leaf that has fallen
into the teacher's beard,
aware of the energy
radiating into her
fingertips.

she wants to bury her hands
in the stiff hair
allowing his energy to
flow into her extremities,
convinced that his magic
is stronger than
any sorcerer's

that as long as she holds on
to the teacher's beard
wholeness will be
hers.

2/21/88

MUSIC AND MOSS THREAD

I want to live
in the forest
build a doll house
cedar chalet
surrounded by tulips
and fireflies
crochet blankets
the color of coffee
and emeralds
lick marshmallow
creme from a spoon
and teach rabbits
how to read.

When my forest becomes
black and cold and
wet I will slip
into a field and
kneel in the grass
rinse my hair in
rainwater
and
drizzle
aloe vera
on my shoulders.

When I die they
will bury me
in the moonlight
dig a grave in
a strawberry patch
and lower me
as Billie warns
. . . don't say a word
don't break the spell . . .

9/19/87